I write, therefore I am.

For the longest time, I have been thought of myself as someone who wants so much. I want to take French class, said myself after high school. I want to go to Germany, work for the UN, being a researcher, join MUN, meeting Philipp Lahm, said a college-girl me. And then right after college, I became a journalist. Then grad school, then a managing editor, a consultant, and now, a CEO.

I always thought that it is actually not good for wanting too much, as a woman. I grew up in pesantren, where girls told to get married straight after high school. Women shouldn't go to higher education because oh, the zina. I remember I had to take my French course in hiding because well, when in pesantren, only learn Arabic. It clanged within me for years and years later in my life, and it wasn’t until that one cold night in an Asian restaurant back in Boston when I had dinner with my friends. One of them went to the two most prestigious schools in the US and proudly showed off his student cards.
“Aah, you went to two schools? Here in Boston and one in California?” I was fascinated.

“Yes I am”

“Why do you do that?”

“I just want so much. Gue emang banyak mau aja.”

That conversation made me realize that we can have as many things as we want. we can have big dreams, several goals, and maybe…more than one dream school. It is actually ok to accept that we want so much in life, as long as it does not violate the law. After all, we are living in a free world.

Well, that’s one hell of an opening to get into my main point: I love to write. It wasn’t until later that I realized, despite the career changes and goals that I revisited, I realized that everything involved writing. In grad school, I even wrote a thesis,- an option none of my Indonesian friends had ever chosen, in my school. I wrote all kinds of pieces throughout my life. In high school, I hand-wrote a novel that my friends would queue to read it. Then I wrote news and analysis, as a journalist. I wrote a report as a researcher and now, I re-write news, daily, for our newsletter.

When I was a journalist, I have this manager that mentor me during my first posting in DPR. She can write 7–10 news a day, and somehow, she still has a blog that she updated regularly. I remember asked her “You write news, all day, during the day, and still wanting to write more for your blog?” and she’s like “Once you write, it’s just relaxing. This is what I love to do”. I was in awe back then, but really, it hit me now. Between writing for Catch Me Up! and some other consulting hustles that I am taking, I realized that I still want to write something. That is not for my audiences, my client’s audiences, but for me. For my own reflections, thoughts, and progressions that I’ve achieved so far. So I decided to have this Medium page. This will solely be my personal haven, and none of the pieces I have here is the reflection of my company’s policy (unless I stated otherwise). So, welcome I guess? And thank you for coming to my ted talks.