I was sad.

I was sad.

When it rains, and I was driving through our Cornelia Street.

I was sad.

When I realized, I can never see Alison the same way again.

I was sad.

When I thought, I’ve already had my worst.

I was sad.

When I was sitting by the window, and having my overpriced chia-lemon cupcake.

I was sad.

When I am driving. So I played empowering songs from Dua Lipa.

I was sad.

When I had my PT session.

I was sad.

When I sit at the sauna. Thinking back on what could’ve been.

I was sad of all the “could’ve been”.

I was sad.

On my gojek ride back home, and I stared at the stress-inducing traffic.

I was sad.

Then I went home.

I have a chit chat with my roommate and boy, was she nice.

We laugh.

We ate fruits.

We’ve had a little debate about food.

I changed the YouTube channel to acoustic music and it was really dreamy.

Then I started writing on my emails.

I laugh at the news on Lukas Enembe

I get mildly anxious about the election.

I felt excited about Iduladha.

I talked a little bit with my writer: hey, did you know I went to Yura Yunita concert last Friday?

Suddenly, everything wasn’t sad anymore.

There are more things to feel other than sadness: excitement, happiness, hope, just fleeting, and maybe, a little delusional?

So I went to bed.

Smiling.

I will probably sad again tomorrow.

But tonight, I am not sad.