I was sad.
I was sad.
When it rains, and I was driving through our Cornelia Street.
I was sad.
When I realized, I can never see Alison the same way again.
I was sad.
When I thought, I’ve already had my worst.
I was sad.
When I was sitting by the window, and having my overpriced chia-lemon cupcake.
I was sad.
When I am driving. So I played empowering songs from Dua Lipa.
I was sad.
When I had my PT session.
I was sad.
When I sit at the sauna. Thinking back on what could’ve been.
I was sad of all the “could’ve been”.
I was sad.
On my gojek ride back home, and I stared at the stress-inducing traffic.
I was sad.
Then I went home.
I have a chit chat with my roommate and boy, was she nice.
We laugh.
We ate fruits.
We’ve had a little debate about food.
I changed the YouTube channel to acoustic music and it was really dreamy.
Then I started writing on my emails.
I laugh at the news on Lukas Enembe
I get mildly anxious about the election.
I felt excited about Iduladha.
I talked a little bit with my writer: hey, did you know I went to Yura Yunita concert last Friday?
Suddenly, everything wasn’t sad anymore.
There are more things to feel other than sadness: excitement, happiness, hope, just fleeting, and maybe, a little delusional?
So I went to bed.
Smiling.
I will probably sad again tomorrow.
But tonight, I am not sad.